if home is where the heart is,

when i moved into my new place, i replaced a female tenant. not that it makes any difference to me, personally, because i never met her and if i had not known this fact, it wouldn't have made the slightest difference. i bring this up, however, because upon leaving, she left behind two hundred and ninety three, and three sevenths types of body lotions, bath salts, conditioners, shampoos, skin toners etc etc etc in the bathroom. i kid you not. i could open a drug store's hygiene section and still have some left over for guile's hair. shit's crazy.

anyway, this got me trying the stuff. i mean, couldn't hurt, right? wrong. it hurts. not just my pride, but it hurts sweet afro samurai jesus and his alter ego. between the apricot-and-banana body shop skin cream, lavender shampoo, strawberry tango bathing salts and who knows what else, i smelled for a day like a rabid flower shop on steroids. and when i say steroids, i mean perfume. but, in all honesty, besides that one incident where everyone started to question my choice of (de)odorant, i actually like all these products. not that i'll ever buy any of them myself because they're expensive as eff. but while there's some left-overs (which i do have permission to use. nitpickers) i'll let my feminine side indulge.

i wonder just how many women will start getting their significant others to try said products now.

another olfactory endeavour pertains to my kitchen stove and the location of my room directly above it. when either my housemate or i cook something (his cooking is de-lish) the wafting aromas tend to congregate just above where i sleep and this either makes me hungry as hell all day / night long (tee hee. i said all night long), or makes me dream of food. either way, my stomach makes the random-est noises and it's slightly disturbing when i start to hear sentences in between the growls and resonating throbs. 'feeeeeddd meeeeeeee.... the hunger. it burrnnnssssss' be creative. that being said, opening the window takes care of this problem; if only it wouldn't rain so frequently, and especially have horizontal rain directed against my windowed wall.