Wednesday, 30 March 2011

flawed plans

how can God expect so much from something he built to withstand so little?

this is pretty much the crux of my (dis?)belief in the whole faith system.

does it make a person stronger to keep enduring, or does it make him more foolish? either way, you won't know until you try something. right?

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

withering paper flowers

i made you origami roses, but you stepped on them as you walked by.
i wrote you victorian poems, but you would rather listen to indonesian pop music.
i baked you triple chocolate cheesecake, but you took not a bite, as this was against your diet.
i video-conferenced you, but you put your id on silent as you annoyedly declined.

silly moon, why do i think you for fireflies when the sun is already out and shining in all her glory?

- rip fermina of the red roses-

Monday, 28 March 2011

letters to fermina

love is a process of filtering.
for every emotion, most are discarded, and some are thought through.
for every thought through, most are discarded and some are commit to writing.
for every letter i write, most are discarded and... actually all are discarded.

in the process of filtering love, none have made it through my personal sieve. none have it made it to your eyes, and this is for the best!

Wednesday, 23 March 2011


1. get laid
2. feed self
3. sleep
4. get laid again


feel free to fill in the list at your convenience.

Monday, 14 March 2011

don't worry

'do not worry about a thing', my mother used to say,
of this she would remind me of, day by day by day;
'do not worry about a thing', my father warned me so,
''cause if you do, and all is well, you beget naught but woe'.

i did not worry about lunch money, not when i had no pence,
i worried not of jeering friends, whose words - they made no sense;
nary did i worry much, when they laughed at blondes and blacks,
or when i sat on wooden chairs, but greeted with thumb-tacks.

again, i did not worry 'bove my ankles hung my pants,
and when they made fun of my love for maths, or silly rants;
i did not worry when i could not kick a ball by posts,
and never did i feel my glasses were too thick for most.

and then came times when social status was measured by laughs and smiles,
i did not worry, in the least, from those i wandered yards and miles;
like children, still, it was not fair, nor fair was i - true story,
no 'neither' for 'nor', you say (that's true) but of this i don't worry.

so grew apart and gravitate, to those who worry not,
and rejoice with the crowd that sees right through the fateful lot;
then move away and sulk alone, with ones who run but tarry,
and still be in a little lot, who wary but don't worry.

and tell yourself with every night you sleepless in bed lie,
worry not of missed cupcakes, and strudels and peach pie;
don't worry for a haughty girl, who sees but is so blind,
and shun your monetary woes, of this you must not mind.

i still remember, way back when, my mother used to say,
'do not worry about a thing' - this gets me through the day;
though now she thinks that i am all and but a sorry sod,
in faith we trust, and misbelieve that all is planned by God.

and do not know what to say to those who ask - for this i'm sorry,
but all i have to tell myself is *sigh* i should not worry.

Friday, 11 March 2011

black swan

is totally awesome.

also, i'm so glad they didn't turn it into cheap smut with the mila kunis / natalie portman scene. yeah, all you guys sighing right now know what i'm talking about.