Monday, 5 April 2010

settling for less

one of the main tenets of being an egocentric jerk is always getting what you want. and with that, you know all self-centred persons will want the best and only the best (in fact, everyone does). which brings us to today's topic, that of contradicting this rule, and settling for less.

though, this is not to say that any of my friends think that the universe revolves around themselves, i come to this train of thought from observing them, and their propensity in today's setting to throw prior ideals to the wind, only to be happy with lesser things - something they would not have done, say, 3 years ago. let us take an example:

many of my female friends (at the very least, 3 of them) have recently gone from being single to being in relationships. and, i know these women to be high-profile gals, the creme de la creme - self-actualised, materially- and spiritually-motivated, successful, and let's not forget, drop dead gorgeous. now, this is only natural, you may say. someone with so much to offer would obviously find a (suitable) partner anywhere she may want to look. and i will agree, except for a few minor details.

firstly, i recall, that they used to have such high expectations in a partner. he had to be charming, romantic, rich, successful, intelligent, funny, etc etc. and had a physique like brad pitt. whatever floats your boat, i say, as long as you have goals. but, as it turns out, their main squeezes are somewhat lacking in any, if not all these criteria. and to the romanticists amongst us, you may champion the argument that, they finally have found true love, one that surpasses all these physical and superficial trivialities. and i applaud you for saying so (though you may think otherwise); yet i remain somewhat skeptical, when i come to the second point:

the age barrier. it seems, there is a pre-determined age, after which girls of my friends' background reach an 'expiry date' (as one of them kindly put). and, as you may easily put to conjecture, reaching this age (of 25-ish) and being single, is somewhat unsightly. though it may not present as a big thing to the younger, fitter, richer, more attractive readers; apparently once you get to the age, your mind changes gear from 'mellow, it's all good' to 'holy chocolate-rabbits jesus, i need someone right now, or i'm screwed for all eternity'. or something like that. and now that i think about it, many of my friends, mostly girls, have pretty much admitted to this. and i see nothing wrong with it, except the following:

it is always a balance between what you want and what you need. should the needs overcome your wants, and you have to 'settle for less', then by all means, be your own judge of the situation. however, i am hard-pressed to say if this is in the long run, beneficial for all parties.

a similar situation arises with family and friends looking for jobs, or in studies or moving around. i do not wish to elaborate on these things, as you can probably project any situation into the 'settling for less' category and see it in your daily lives - where people are pressured by an aging self, or a dwindling wallet; when ideals are sacrificed for menial needs.

and to this, i reflect upon myself and judge myself guilty on many accounts. long have died the utopian dreams from my youth, and i have settled for many lesser things, and i hope this fate is only something i parallel to myself, and the reader is spared from such humiliating defeat in aspects of his/her life.

but, i regress to the topic of relationships for the time being, as it seems pragmatic to touch on something so hard and warm (that's what she said. oh!) where in this day and age, the pursuit of love has been left to die in 18th-century-feminist novels, and only incited in dreams of forlorn poets.

so, though my time will come to pass, just as it has for my (3 female) friends, i hope everyone the best of luck (or whatever force of nature you may believe in) in the pursuit of ideals, relationship-wise or other. and maybe, it is time to open those diaries and journals, if only in the back of our minds, to review what perfectionist idealisms we once had, now dying in decrepit horror in some unsightly dormant memory. resurrect them from their shallow graves, rancid with the stench of putrefying dreams and decaying hopes. give them life anew, with the vigor of hope and the revitalisation of determination. so, scream with me, as we shed our conformist views on what has to be done, for the now, and never again should any of us fade slowly into the night:

'i shall not settle for anything less!'

p/s: i do not write this in criticism of any of the 3 girls and their choices of partners; in fact, any of this could be coincidental and overanalysis of their situations, in which (in all my hopes) they could be profoundly finding true love, something which, myself being unacquainted with, am nobody to comment on. if anything, i only write this because it has struck me in this moment, from the chain of coincidences that has piqued my shallow mind, and to that, i apologise in advance to each and every of the 3, and to those who assume themselves to be one of them, though they are not. verily, the point of this entry should not be missed for the glaring oversight i may have made, but instead, having the latter used as a reinforcer, if it is true, and as a hypothetical example, if it is not.

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