things you only found out when you grew up (things your parents never told you)

i like cooking. i may be horribaddible at it, but i like it. it's relaxing, it's meticulously well-planned, it's self-fulfilling, and best of all, the food is best when made by your own hands. even if others think it's terrible. same thing goes for baking, even though i haven't baked in about 2 1/2 years. i miss those times.

it's common to think you're missing out on something good when you think you could have done it, but never really followed through. personally i think this all the time when i reflect upon all the 'lost chances' i had. all the decisions which could have potentially been better (or at least less worse); like when i was younger i wanted to be a sage of sorts. a pious man, devoted in life to religion and god. but i never really found out where that would lead to.

and then i grew up and wanted to become a scientist. which may still happen, i guess. but it'll never be really the same as what i had imagined as a younger me. by the way, if you google 'draw a scientist' test, or DAST, you might find some interesting ideas on pre-conceptions and development of perceptions.

and then i grew up and wanted to become a mathematician. but that was crushed by the fact that there's no real job for mathmos back home.

and then i grew up and wanted to become a doctor. somewhat. boy, did that get screwed over.

and here i am now. all grown up. with no idea what i really want to do. which is really interesting. because i should have been a chef. i might have sucked. the pay might have been meagre and the benefits non-existent. the hours may have been long and the abuse harsh. but i can honestly say i like cooking.

but then, i'd say 'i miss science'.

ah well, such is the indecision of the human mind.

did you grow up wanting to be an astronaut? maybe a firefigher or policeman? maybe a ninja or a pirate? maybe a teacher or an engineer? did you grow up wanting?

and for all those wants, did you get anywhere close? does it matter that you have(n't)? so many questions to which i can only answer (personally):

boy, am i hungry. i should go cook something for dinner