Saturday, 3 October 2009

different prespectives (now with dinosaurs!)

it has come to my attention that a hybrid being has been created. a being so malicious, so devilish, so malefic; yet so intelligent, so prespicacious, so dexterous. a being which embodies the greatest of my awes, but also the summation of my fears. how could something borne of two opposing polarities have come into existence? who could have created such a monstrosity?


as opposed to trying to rid the world of such an abberation, surely it is wise to approach said raptor with diplomacy? surely it would be beneficial to all if we were to reach a compromise? a common goal, a live-and-let-live agreement? wrong. wrong. wrong. which part about raptors being malicious did you miss? was it the part where she rips you a new orifice and exposes your jejunum, ileum and caecum to environments they were not made to deal with? maybe it's the part where she coyly tricks one of us into thinking we've got her cornered, before her firend she-devils spring up from the flanks to nibble on your fingers. coyly. or mayhap it's the part where she flat out sprints from across the plains at 50 mph to proceedingly (in one graceful, unhindered movement) skullrape you with 13-inch claws. no no no. personally, i'm running the sh*t away before we reach that stage.

(apologies to female readers, but if you've ever watched jurassic park, you might recall that the dinosaurs were designed to be all female. though they ended up not being so. we can argue the semantics another time, more pressing issues are at hand, ergo EFFIN PHILOSOPHISING RAPTORS. god)

but really, as i've just pointed out, there's no running away from a raptor. 50. fricken. miles. per. hour. so we shall try (albeit, probably bearing futility) to discourse with these cerebrally-enhanced velociraptors.

all shall rue the day.

for, even though there are many differences between us. and there may be many things to gain from adjoint. one does not simply walk into mordor. i mean. one does not simply reason with raptors.

the moral of the story is: we may all be different. we may see the same things in different light, we may feel the same things with different thoughts, we may live the same lives with different experiences. so be considerate of your kin (or non-kin, in the case of raptors)

that being said, i still think they're up to something. sneaky raptors. they'll be the end of us, mark my words. may sweet raptor jesus save us all. umm. wait.

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