negative gnostics and atypical acoustics

i am not a pious man. not even a marginally-religious man. but i am, kind of, an existentialist. -ish. maybe. and so, although i may not be on the walk that tightropes the balance between heaven and hell, i do want to feel (or at least deceive myself) that there are some things larger than the immediate consequences of our actions. karma, if you will; or fate, destiny, and all that jazz.

on the other extreme, though, i feel inclined to admit that although once upon a time i was a great believer and advocate of self choice and free will; nowadays things are a-changin'. sometimes i feel that lack of insight and foresight are enough to explain how things have evolved in my mind's eye, but i guess we could also argue that it's deeper than that. some kind of divine revelation on a minor scale, a coming of belief's age. and yes, before i digress further, this extreme is fatalism in all its glory. to what extent, though, is debatable. i have gone through the defeatist age of my life (though recurrence is oft and not as intermitten as i would like it to be), and i still ask myself 'to what extent is determinism the hand that pulls our puppet strings?'

on a whole, i christianity, judaism and islam all quote god as being all-knowing, and has preordained everything. so where does the role of choice come in? in every choice you (think you) make, just how much 'you' was in it? or was it all really god's dominoes just falling as he had wanted when he pushed the first one? i've consulted religious scholars, agnostics and atheists. i've queried websites and texts. i've philosophised in the dying moments before sleep's respite, in the serenity of morning walks to the busport. and nothing really feels right to answer.

to conclude my meager findings, i think i'll just say that sometimes the puppeteer scenario is all that you need to believe in. that the scriptwriters and directors of life have it all written out, down to every dot in the script. but that doesn't make the play for lack of actors (and actresses, of course).

"all share a common destiny—the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad, the clean and the unclean, those who offer sacrifices and those who do not." - eclesiastes 9:2

for further christianity views, here.

"and no soul can die except by Allah's command - a time has been appointed for each; whoever desires the rewards of this world, We bestow upon him from it; and whoever desires the reward of the hereafter, We bestow upon him from it; and We shall soon reward the thankful." - quran, 3:145

for more islamic views, here, and my usual, here.

p/s: that irritating noise in the background better stop or i'm going to have to rip my ears out.