lethargy

i'm so tired. so very tired. of walking home in the blistering heat. of just walking in general. of many things. so, on my route home, i find shade in the shadow of a deciduous tree, in a park. and prop myself up against the sunlight. my bag feels heavy upon the green, green grass. my head feels heavy against the dry winds of an ending summer.

i lay down and gaze to the skies, futility in making up shapes from the nimbus clouds, for they are too streaky to bear resemblance to anything, unlike their cumulus cousins. and all that i can see against the white backdrop is dots. of black. a colloid of cells from detached retinae, oh joy. and doze off, in the midday heat, which is ironically cooler because of the breeze, than the sanctuary of my room.

An hour’s worth, spent in silence, which actually is to mean,
That there is loneliness even when music is a din,
Waiting on a figure, which should be of a friend,
Anything will do as long as it is an offered hand.

There is beauty in walking this lonesome street,
With a naked heart and bare feet,
Because when it comes to trying to believe,
One can only wear his heart on his sleeve.

But falter when returning to an empty home,
Which one tries to fill with words from a tome,
And all this emotional distress has left myself wanting,
You leave me here, breathless, I have nothing.

Another teardrop manifests itself, dry,
Another feeling that is emotions awry,
Another day realises my attempts, which make me weary,
Oh ye, monetary.

Takkan dapat ku serukan sebuah lagi perasaan dalam menanti,
Sebak melihatkan gambarmu, mencoret luka di hati.
(Oh ye, monetary).