Saturday, 29 August 2009

conspiracy theories

a friend posed this question to me recently: 'so what is it you infectious disease people do? pretty sure you guys are just slacking off since it's been forever and you don't have the cure to flu yet' or something like that. i paraphrase. hendrix can testify to this. in any case, some dude has the gall to enter the conversation at this point, and goes 'yeah, it's because there's a master plan involving the big drug companies to keep the people with the flu so that they have a steady market for their drugs'. this soon progresses to further conspiracy theories about swine flu being engineered in labs (for what purpose? really). and let me set the tone - this guy's not kidding. he's actually serious and (now knowing that i am doing an infectious disease course) proceeds to take a personal stance in his various theories and starts verbally attacking. i, being the slick little devil i am, quickly conjure a flawless plan to escape (OH LOOK! FLYING PIGS [maybe they have swine flu, you should go catch them and test out your hypothesis]).

so, boys and girls, aside from the fact that some people will crucify random strangers for apparently the most redonkulous things, what have we learned today? to not talk out of our asses. i mean, sure, maybe some strain of flu could be engineered in labs to bring death and destruction upon humankind. because people are just that degenerate and diabolical. and the drug companies obviously employ these 'marketing tactics' to make sure they have a continuous cash cow. and they're obviously cooking something up that's nastier, you know just in case the general population catches on to this. like platipus flu. shit's nasty, causes you to bleed out of your eyeballs. purulent bleeding, too.

OR. there's a simpler explanation, involving the mutating surface antigens on said virus blah blah (insert boring immunology lecture here). BUT HEY. that's neither interesting, nor is it scandalous enough, so why would we believe that, amirite?

some people are just incredulous, i swear. i think mark twain said it best:
'It's better to keep quiet and have people think you stupid, than to talk and confirm it. '

but anyway. ummm. moral of story, yeah. do your research before speaking out of your ass. quote your sources, i cannot emphasise this too much. and. don't be a dick. like butting in on conversations. or something like that.

today's episode was brought to you by the number 12 and letters A, R, S and E.

p/s: joke of the day courtesy of uncle random -
me: yeah just listening to music while i do work.
ur: work, huh.
me: yeah. well, mostly just chilling out, but let's call it work.
ur: as long as there is force times distance.


SHiKiN said...


wat the hell was that joke at the end? hahaha. oh dear oh dear...

etc said...

i know, right? uncle random is one in a million. totally caught me off guard.

Anonymous said...

dude that joke was really bad. really really bad. owh my. my ears are bleeding. noo


etc said...

dude. don't be a playa hata. uncle random is pretty hillarious. i thought it was funny as shit.

etc said...

also kak shikin why am i not invited to read your blog. what. the. eff?

Anonymous said...


i like what mark twain quoted.haha always find it difficult justifying what i believe and think to some people.

oh yeah i feel so intimidated =( you read my blog and i ve read yours. i like yours soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better.haha take care

etc said...

pish posh inferiority complex, away with thee! your blog is awesome, calm down. more posts!