Tuesday, 26 January 2010

obvious, md. episode 2

previously on obvious...
[insert montage with catchy, upbeat soundtrack]

dr.o: so, will anyone care to explain to me, as to why our patient had come down with a horrible fever?
int1: he was eating dinner, when a fishbone got stuck in his throat. left on waldeyer's ring, slightly superior to the left adenoid.
dr.o: fishbone.
int1: yes. about 7cm, with a curvature bounding maybe a 30 degree angle.
dr.o: what did i say about all these si units and being american?
int1: [rolls eyes] anyway, it was embedded pretty deep in the soft tissue, about 3 cm of the bone was sub-cut and it took four attempts with a pair of forceps to dislodge it...
dr.o: either the bone really was that deep, or your attending was supremely incompetent.
int2: you removed the bone, yourself, sir.
dr.o: obviously the bone was no mere pierce, and the doctor must have been that much more awesome to only need four tries.
int1: clearly.
dr.o: so that's it? infection from fishbone puncture?
int3: [read with corny aussie accent] crikey, o. alternatively we coulda have had him exposed to radiation coming form a night-light, in conjunction with some rare strain of ebola, which somehow got into his house's ventilation system.
dr.o: how possible is that?
int1: less likely than the fishbone theory.
int2: also, he was scratched by his cousins' cat on the same day.
dr.o: cats and fishbones - is that all you've got for my dramatic case entry?
int2: we could write it up as 'the patient was mauled by an abominably large house-cat with history of violence'?
dr.o: sounds good. do that. early lunch break for everyone.

the suspense! the drama! the action! tune in next episode, kids - same sickly time, same sickly channel.

No comments: