the root of all evil is a carrot

there are many things that could be the reason for all humanity's problems. polyfactorial. i like to use that word a lot. but, if someone were to ask me what's the sole and singular source of our woes, i would not hesitate to answer: penis.

no, this is not one of those [rule 1 and 2] memes, where you reply penis to everything, but it's a valid answer. anti-freudians would scramble to disagree, and of course, not having found eel genitalia as a solution, might resort to the answer, 42. but, if you think about it, it makes quite a bit of sense; why are men compelled to jump through hoops for a woman? penis. why do men have e-peen and real-peen comparisons (with the addition of compensation and competition)? penis. what are wars fought over, fortunes faded, children forgotten and wives abandoned? penis.

more accurately it is the penile drive that's an attribute to this, and the biologist argues that it is testosterone (produced in the zona reticulata of the kidneys, and converted via successive pathways in the testes, not in the penis) which produces this effect. however, this is all analogous, and penis in this sense is a metaphor and a symbolism, as it may refer to the same drive(s) in women. (ha, i totally cut that off in the bud, all you feminists and people going to counter-argue with 'what about women?'). that, and all women cannot be the source of evil, and are but byproducts of corruption in men (dodging bullets here, give me a break).

but really, i think if everyone could suppress their 'phallic drive', the world would be a better place. this is not to be interpreted as saying that the penis is evil. no, no. it's awesome! just like that best friend you may have. awesome, but not clean of all ills. and just like that bff, it also is probably the one that drives you to make that wrong decision. especially when you're both high or tipsy. because sometimes, it's that push in the wrong direction that truly makes you feel alive. or makes your 'penis' feel that way.

i've just finished watching (after reading) 'a clockwork orange'. and, though i have drafted this post way before watching it, i find that a lot from the movie (but not from the book) supports the 'phallic theory of sin'. ironically, the protagonist, having his penile tendencies controlled for him (both physiologically and psychologically) did not make him a better person. even phenotypically. and i think this supports the 'phantom penis' analogy even better than many examples i could come up with.

but anyway. if anything, let us consider the use of the phallic word here as being a source of carrot analogies. penis. tee hee. here, have something funny to finish yourself off (double entendre intended).