Monday, 8 August 2011

looking for the colour fuchsia

certain cultures in this world believe that men and women are made in pairs. they believe that every individual is created, long before their souls are breathed into any physical form, and made attached - spiritually, at the very least - to another. if there is any notion of heaven or heavenliness, these cultures believe that a pair of souls are made, intertwined and already in relation, separated then by the souls' journeys to earth. and while their transcendence (or fall) to a physical plane dooms them to separation , the cultures (at the very least) believe that they are destined to rejoin.

this is romantic, at the very least, and a self-fulfilling prophecy, at most. i want to believe in this, but the sheer amount of polygamists, divorcees, never-been-marrieds and homosexuals leads me to think - romanticism has long died and her predecessor, pragmatism, is a cruel and banal dictator. i'm sure the number of each of the aforementioned categories varies from culture to culture, but even the very existence of these categories is doubt enough.

in effect, all i'm saying is that having a fuchsia or et cetera out there waiting for you - fully devoted, admiring and subservient to your every essence and being - is a beautiful idea. it is such a beautiful romance for and of the soul. it is so much a beautiful construct. but, really, that's all it is. an idea, a construct, a novelty. you cannot wait for him or her to come for you and instead, you must create that person yourself. for those who believe, i am envious. for those who disbelieve, i am sorry (and sorrowful). and because of that, i am most sorry for myself.

maybe one day i will learn to paint without the colour fuchsia, but until then, i will keep my palate with only one colour.

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