letters to santa

yesterday, i wrote my first love letter. it was passionate, and obfuscate, and awkward, and puzzling, even to me. when i wanted to mail it, the cashier and post office attendant was being quite the nuisance, though. she insisted that i use some fancy air mail stamp because 'this stamp has the "mail" word on it'. i thought to myself, 'really?' the letters that i had come with, that i normally carry in my wallet were some ruddy old teddybear stamps, though i imagine that can hardly be dismissed as legitimate postage stamps. as for the ones she offered, i have no idea why they would be superior in any way. forgive me, for i do not understand the complexities of sending a letter, something that i used to do every weekend but do no longer because, who really uses snail mail. however, the last time i did, it was fairly straightforward - just use the correct amount of postage paid (and in this case i used $1.80 in stead of the required $1.65).

interestingly enough, counting my shillings as i stood in front of her, only to realise that i had not enough, i offered to pay using card (i actually had some notes in my wallet, but really, i don't like carrying around coins). she quickly said, no, that's fine, just use my stamps anyway. contradiction, much? in any case, if my letter arrives, i curse you for being a pain; and if it doesn't arrive, i curse you for being so dismissive. since when did post-office attendants become little napoleons. oh, i should note the demeanour in which she handled the conversation was... lacklustre.

having gone through that, which i don't really mind, except for the fact that now i worry whether my letter will arrive or not (love letters are serious business), i was now ready to finally pop my letter in the mailbox. it's quite cute that there was a dedicated mailbox outside (madeshift from a red cardboard box) just adjacent to the permanent mailbox upon which is written in capitals, 'LETTERS TO SANTA'. i am not sure where these letters end up, but, i write now another love letter, in hopes that santa is actually a sexy, blonde and blue-eyed woman from scandanavia who lives just north enough of the arctic circle to warrant the name 'santa', but at the extrme-most south to warrant living where it's not dark all winter long (though i now concede that this may be geographically impossible). one never knows, that should (s)he reply, i may want to move in, and the aurora borealis will never look prettier.

lovingly for santa,

etc.

my new favourite thing

500g of oven-baked french fries (or freedom fries, for the american anti-terrorist)
one cup sour cream
thickly sliced cheddar cheese
home-made guacamole and salsa-sauce (avocados, tomatoes, salt, water and peppers)
thai chilli sauce
a dash of salt
a dash of pepper


mixed and microwaved for 30s.

voila, hey presto!

either it was epic or i was really hungry. in either case, i am now full and this warrants making again another day!

most wicked

i do not care for silly hats, tiaras made of gold,
i do not care for pumpkins, mice, or ball gowns (new and old);
and never cared for handsome princes (god, i hate them most),
what's probably worse are crystal shoes! and wearers oft who boast.

and really who keeps mirrors now? even those that in tongues speak,
for all i want to hear is how i'm prettier than child, so weak;
and even then it would serve best to whisk away, let dwarves apart,
than have a hunter sin behest, then lie instead with foul boar's heart!

woe is me yet, i can't tell lies, like roses red for my safe keep,
for 'ternal beauty one's soul vies, and this is source enough to weep;
take steady aim! release your shot, and pierce this wretched, beastly heart,
you see skin deep a slyly plot, it matters not, death does me part.

i'd be surprised, if you still cared for women's rights in france,
do you still think we live backwards, in dark ages, perchance?
and do not think i care the least for golden flawless hair,
(but, heavens, it's so silky smooth, it would make a fine stair).

i do care, though (you'd be surprised) of 'chanted spinning looms,
they fill my heart with so much dread, of demise and of dooms;
but thwarted (yet again, curses!) by one true love's first kiss,
my plan, it was so perfect so, i wonder what i missed?

and sometimes i do love to frolic with souls of the damned,
so that i may enact out all the nasties i have planned;
i could not care less for green frogs, or toads, or of the sort,
though french-prepared frogs legs are nice (i kill them 'times for sport).

i sometimes care for cooling breeze, though not for colours of the wind,
but who can care for dainty child, especially those who have erst sinned?
but maybe it will be alright, if left to stand there hand in hand,
behind them all i plot to take, their gold, buffalo, wives and land.

i notice sometimes, in the night, when tigers eyes' are shining bright,
a desert rose, or diamond rough, that in the darkness then takes flight;
but give up power, gold and love, i cannot do this for my health,
and envy still a beggar's luck, a sultan's will, a daughter's wealth.

i cared not for the longest while, of sickly sorrow sweet,
voices of an angel though at expense of one's feet;
thus vanity, oh, vanity, so pointless to impress,
for what? for men? for dainty forks? to wear a pretty dress?

a fighting spirit, now that is cause for someone to envy,
i'd say i care, but, no, i don't, i'm just not that savvy;
but stab me through the heart and find gender is no import,
reflections of cherry blossoms in a river for sport!

and lastly curse my aching back, i could not feel a thing,
and yet those supple children feel a pea of a sapling;
how could this be fair, one must ask, in light of all that's right,
i will not care, i cannot care, i shan't with greatest might!

and so my sisters, up in arms! your call has come to fight!
who dares shun and belittle our solemn, slightly plight?
a curse on them, a doom on them, a hex of dark voodoo!
beware young child, your time is nigh, we're out in search of you!

*written on behalf of all the wicked witches, horrible stepmothers, ghouls and ghosts and scheming antagonists. for all the knifing, backstabbing, treacherous knaves, this one is for you*

dikhabarkan

i've been told many things. i've been told that man cannot fathom the vastness of space, i've been told that there are lives at stake when one loses faith, i've been told that you cannot feel what another can face, and all and everything in between. i've also been told that i cannot write in a foreign language. i tried writing in (what little smattering of) french last week, and i found myself very much wanting. it has been an interesting experience, though - one that i intend to keep to myself because french is such a puzzling language! i cannot understand now how it can be so romantic, yet when i try for and towards such things, all i can see is eyesore. so, today, a little bit of malay:

dibuahkan hujan seribu bahasa,
mencari peniti melangkah jambatan;
dikhabarkan padaku seribu binasa,
biar padamu aku doakan.

janganlah dendangkan selamat tinggal,
lagu sumbang menyingkap sanubari;
dikhabarkan padaku benang sepintal,
membuat teman mengganti mentari.

mencari ratu sehingga syria,
biar terpaksa menerbangkan takhta;
mengenang hati dan mata si dia,
dikhabar lagi warnanya raksa.

janganlah khuatir tentang persoalan,
bermain di minda bermadah bicara;
khabarkan padaku buatmu sialan,
dalam hati ni sematkan segala.

khabarku padamu, padanya, padaNya; tiada erti coretanku lagi,
namun begitu dikhabarkan pula, tak pernah merasa pun hatiku ini.

going solo like a baws

i wanted to post a list of the most awesome guitar solos of all time, but then i realised that my coverage of music is somewhat limited. instead, i'll post some of my favourite guitar solos (and some not-so-favourites, but just because they're awesome). i need to find some peeps with more varied musical inclinations so that i may sample better auditory hallucinations. only once you've drunk from the seas of rhye can you judge the bitterness of ambrosia!

10. thank you for the venom by my chemical romance
my chemical romance was one of those bands that defined my university years. don't get me wrong, nobody's being an emokid here (well, maybe a little bit), i just liked their music. past tense being the active word here. i still listen to 'three cheers for sweet revenge' and 'the black parade' on the occasion, but their latest album (of which i cannot even recall the title. edit: it's 'danger days') delivers mostly in disappointment. this solo is performed by ray toro.


9. knights of cydonia by muse
another cult popular band is the british trio, muse. at first, i must admit, i did not like muse. when my friends were going crazy over 'plug in baby', i thought their music to be too unrefined and raw. only later did i start liking this kind of music, and by that time, muse had moved on to more harmonious (if you can call this genre of music anything of the sort). check out the official clip, i love it - it's hilarious. and while you're at it, check the base on 'hysteria', which i've also included below. the solo is performed by matthew bellamy.
knights of cydonia because embedding has been disabled, boo.
hysteria, also because embedding has been gg'd.

8. monsters by matchbook romance
i've talked about this band before, and this song is exceptionally awesome. one of my all-time favourites. this solo is performed by ryan 'juda' depaolo
monsters: more disabled embedding.


7. talk shows on mute by incubus
no elaborations needed here. incubus is my second-most favourite band of all time. mike einziger rocks the guitar solo here like it's his little female dawg. their latest ablum, however, is lacklustre. but they always experiment with new stuff, and i'm willing to let this one slide, and keep waiting for the next album.


6. november rain by guns n' roses
for those who have never even listened to gnr, the name is still a hallmark of rock-idolatry, living in the fast lane, burning hard, lighting up, kickass music and flambouyant performances. axl rose is one of the most iconic frontmen of all time and they have this lead guitarist whose name, if i mention here will just burn through your monitor with awesomeness. it's slash. he does this (and many other solos) like a true guitar legend.


5. be yourself by audioslave
i guess that since were' down to the top 5 now, every guitarist i mention henceforth should be at least known to the masses. tom morello is no exception with his very technical and experimental riffs. i would talk about this superband in more detail, but we're only concerned with guitar solos today, so have at ye, tom morello!


4. stairway to heaven by led zeppelin
two words. jimmy. paige.


3. hotel california by eagles
eagles was a band that defined my father's 20's, and hence defined my childhood. back in the day, my dad would rock up some tequila sunrise on his vinyl with the turntable. my brother and i got used to changing the pinheads to make the sounds less distorted - we even had a couple of pins reserved for eagles. then my dad got cassettes and we listened to eagles every day after school. no doubt, we had memorised most of the greatest hits' lyrics (if not all). unfortunately, i cannot remember more than maybe half a dozen songs, now. less words. more listening. no particular person performs this solo, they do it as a group.


2. sweet child o' mine by guns n' roses (slash is such a baddas mofo)
because slash is such an epic guitarist, he made it twice into this list. initially i thought sweet child o' mine would be a most definite pick for my top spot, but after deliberating, i've got something else in store for you.


1. i believe in a thing called love by the darkness / don't stop me now by queen
i wanted to write something quite elaborate here. however, i think i've written too long and my time is short. you may have noticed this, as we progressed down the list, my paragraphs have shortened substantially. if not, then now you realise. anyway. it's a tie here between the darkness (3 solos in the same song! which are conducted by justin and dan hawkins, and frankie poullain); and my favourite band of all time, queen (whose solo is rocked up by brian may)



enjoy!

Fe2O3 like hell

i was rummaging through some old files today to get rid of unwanted and outdated stuff on my (relatively new) computer. i found a huge pile of letters i was trying to send to fermina, but never had the guts to send. needless to say, i revisited them and broke down into a puddle of tears. well, not really, but that would be the sentimental thing to do, and in the stead that i cannot do that, i will write as if i did. a couple of things i forgot that i did were: 1) i wrote her ever day we were apart (and since we were just friends, this phrase is literal in the most platonic way, at least for her), and 2) wow, i was really blind back in the day.

here's a sample for half of you to go 'dawwwww' and the other half to laugh at. and maybe the other half to /facepalm.

i swore to love forever more,
for mountains high and chasms deep;
of stereotyped lines of four,
for heartless lovers oft to keep.

and swore again to love you still,
through aeons after death has died;
with nothing more than hardened will,
let unmet promises abide.

it still, was not to be enough,
of this, of you, i cannot blame;
like diamonds shining in the rough,
my own mistakes are my own shame.

of fault and fate, and ridicule,
from demons low, angels above;
for all to see i am a fool,
if for nothing more, than for love.

i lie prostrate in front of God,
and beg and pray he beckons come;
still now, i find this to be odd,
and weird, and tasteless, and then some.
how never would i wish for you,
if by this meant it would not be;
profound from hearts that speak so true,
instead forced unto you from me.

but how could i live not in pain?
and speak of wills that are lived free?
while preach to others naught in vain,
while in plain sight, i lie to see?
that in my stead you ‘ready chose,
a soul of bliss, eternal shines,
like maroon origami rose,
of his, of hers, of yours, of mines.

i cannot fib unto my own, and even moreso upon you;
so here i beg you claim this wish, and make this love at last come true.

such a dsck

henry miller wrote that there are only three things you can do with a woman. you can love her, suffer for her, or turn her into literature. a lot of people interpret this as that to get over a woman, you pen her down, and drown her in pages of silent sorrow. i just interpret it as miller being a total dsckfaes. he has no idea what he's talking about. and neither do i.