diplomacy

in the recent news, there has been a lot of reporting on international conflict (and even intra-national conflict, depending on whose side of boundary definitions you're on). to name a few, the palestinians and israelis are at it again, this time where the americans are backing an israeli annexation of palestinian land (normally i would stay away from such a term, but even the israelis are blatantly using 'annex' in their statements, so we'll not beat around the bush). the chinese are in a border dispute with india. the chinese have internal conflicts with the hong kongers, thanks to the ongoing dispute on authority as to who should govern hong kong. the chinese also have long-standing disputes of autonomy and authority to govern various regions, namely taiwan, tibet, western china, mongolia, and manchuria. china also has ongoing issues with several south-east asian countries thanks to its 'belt and road' initiative. basically, china has issues with pretty much any and every country it can come into contact with. heck, it even has issues with defining its borders in the ocean (a brief list includes contentious water boundaries [which includes several small, unnamed islands] with the philippines, malaysia, korea, japan...). ukraine and russia still cannot resolve their dispute over the crimea peninsula. i could probably go on for a bit on the countries and contentious areas, but i think the point is made.

i've always said that this blog is more for creative writing, and shouldn't go into politics, religion, or the like, but as i grow older, it has occurred to me that the various countries that we hold so high in regard don't actually live up to the expectation, as exemplified by these issues. i would have imagined such expansionistic ideologies would not have survived the 1800s, and their after-effects dealt with in due time, but not only has this proven to be untrue, but the conflicts are, if anything, exacerbated.

to this, i blame... everyone really. we, as a (single) human race, have evolved beyond such petty need for tribalism (of which, nationalism is probably the latest and most notorious flavour of the month), and yet, here it remains - here it still rears its unwanted, selfish face. the irony, i feel, is that when i discuss these issues with any individual, the problem seems apparent. suggested solutions come hard and fast, and compromises are readily made. however, when the issues are brought up in groups, no end is in sight. i'm sure psychologists and sociologists have discussed, in length, why and how this happens. my point, however, is a criticism on that it does happen to begin with.

a common narrative on these issues is that none of these 'us against them' arguments are inherently held (dearly) by individuals, and that incitement to support such causes is perpetuated to serve the means and agendas of  'the elite'. to be honest, i feel that these are very vague, and may lend a generalist argument to specific ones, but i am not privy enough to the details to elaborate upon them here. i will acknowledge the compellingness of the argument, but i don't think i can lend much backing to the semantics of it (which usually devolve into conspiracy theories, which i do find amusing!).

in any case, what i do believe to be rightfully criticised, is that our governments have yet to look past such contentions. are the conflicts rooted deeply in history, and culture, and belief, perhaps religion, and dogmatic indoctrination? yes. are we incapable of solving such issues? i don't believe that we aren't. it continues to boggle my mind that not only have people-elected representatives not been able to hammer out and enact on compromise, but these same people continually bring up even more points of contention and fan the flames of tribal-rivalry!

it may be a bit much to expect people (especially those who stand to gain) to compromise ideologies and find common ground, but surely there can be an agreeable 'this is for the better of the many' outcome that doesn't involve (more) warring, or conflict, or suffering (which hasn't begun to address the converse, where we should be talking about better management of resource).

it's hard to not think that the governance is really just a glorified group of playground bullies, puffing out their chests and measuring penis sizes. except people are actually dying when there's a scuff. because the bullies themselves aren't actually the ones fighting.

i've often joked that we need a 'greater threat' to humanity for us to actually band together, and to this, i cannot wait for the alien invasion to come. or the singularity. maybe the zombie plague? either / or works, i guess!

to the winds

to follow up on the previous post i had made regarding spiderwebs and some social interaction between the spiders, it now seems that the webs have grown to a scale where their densities are too high. they now act more like sheets of thin fabric than the more 'translucent' spiderwebs they once were - hence every strong gust of wind is now able to shear and shred the webs significantly. i've noticed that the webs are catching fewer new prey, and i haven't seen the spiders come out in a while. if anything this is an apt analogy for the rise and fall of a civilisation - they were the victims of their own success :(

that which is dead can never die..
but rises again harder and stronger.

i await the new spiderlings, and hope they do not err the same way their predecessors have.

(they probably will)

evolutionary pressure tingling

i sit for the past few months, now, in a new office that looks out through a tall, contiguous class pane. i suppose that these architectural window-walls, or whatever the proper term may be, are all the rage in this era of office-buildings (though, the floor plan is one of those open-plan designs, which are quickly falling out of favour). In any case, right beside my desk is a floor-to-ceiling glass window, divided by some support beams at about an arm's length. On the outside of these support beams are some protruding beams, which i also assume are for support, but i have no idea what they're called.

Skipping the poorly-described structure of this outlook from my window, here is the point: when i first started sitting here, the window was quite spotless, but over the past few months, it seems that these support beams have provided an opportunistic (and somewhat interesting) dwellings for, at first one spider, but now a whole host of them. i did not realise that spiders could and would live in such close proximity to each other, and as the web grew in size, i just assumed that this was the cumulative effort a single (and somewhat singular) spider in expanding its web - the spider would expand upon the previous web when i was not watching, but would then hide in the crevice between the support beam and the window when i was around.

however, when an insect would inevitably become trapped in the web, the spider would quickly dash out to secure its meal (which always made for an interesting observation, regardless of how busy i was at work), and since the web is right in my field of vision as i face this computer, it is very apparent when this happens - thence, i've noticed that there was not one spider, but multiple of them who come out to claim their prey!

now, to the interesting bit. i've also noticed that the spiders vary in sizes, perhaps even in species or so, as they shape differently - i cannot tell for sure, as i am no entomologist. generally, only one spider would run to an entrapped insect (i can only assume this is proximity-based, as spiders 'hear' their prey through the vibrations in the webs, so the closest spider would hear first the insect in distress?). every once in a while, though, two spiders might skitter towards the same insect, where the larger spider would claim the prey and the smaller one would have usually backed off before getting to it (i await the day a smaller spider actually challenges a larger one. does this happen? is it an issue of dominance, or is this unnecessary in the superfluousness of food supply?).

as per my earlier assumption, i believe spiders were generally solitary insects, except during a mating incidence, however, these spiders have clearly formed a community of sorts, where they've all benefited from the web array being larger than that of an individual's, though i wonder at what point competition will begin to apply more survival pressure than the said conferred benefit? perhaps this has already occurred, but i have yet to notice it.

interestingly, in a corner of the window, which is a bit more hidden from my view, is a large, single web with a single spider inhabitant, which has no other spider. has he chased off potential neighbours, warranting and giving no quarter to potential competitors? has he chosen a poorer spot to ensnare unwitting insects? or is he merely the leader of the world's tiniest anti-social social club? we may never know. spider, tell me your secrets.

attached a photo of the web in the corner that is in my visual range, though it doesn't do the web much justice.

happiest

there aren't many places left to go,
while the bay ripples left as the sun dips low;
your eyes dim as twilight sets,
in my gut i feel my wretch,
and slowly shadows make as fingers, towards the lonely horizon stretch.

goodbye, for now, that i never said,
you look happier in his arms.

i'd nearly forgotten the smell of blanche,
that hew of sorrows that putrid staunch;
comes calling again through jaded eyes,
left hollow with your gleeful cries,
that i may never hear again because they make for ill reprise.

goodbye, for then, that i never said,
you look happier with his kiss.

now that you've gone, and soon returned,
from snow-set cities to beaches burned;
i don't know yet if all that lost,
was merely at a digital cost,
or of you think so depthly deep, that one should harass and accost?

goodbye, forever, that i never said,
you look happier, with his ring.

how could i have known that uttered nonce,
and heard by many but never once;
i knew one day your wish could come true,
as hearts may die and birth anew,
one which would beat stronger still than how mine ever did beat for you.

goodbye, goodbye, that i never said.
you look happier, in his home.








goodbye, goodbye, to myself i say,
i would have always been happier if you never left.

Nelumbo nucifera

behind, i leave a dusted place,
still hungers, whines, and weeps;
with cracks through greyness of its face,
that morning nighs,
that evening squirms,
too early rise,
that itself keeps.

ahead, presents a lotus bloom,
petals: whites and pinks,
whose roots anchor earthly womb,
through transcendental earthly links.
though one so large of bud and fruit,
can host a human style -
a yellow-shrouded guide to moot,
and listen, stay a while.

the gongs are sing, the hymns are chant,
and prayer beads are ticking down;
that nourish for the lotus plant,
help sift the silted ground.
should let the leaf float tranquil 'bove,
the murky pond where red dove calls;
that brings the message of truest love,
but, silence, here sounds bare footfalls.

a day of fast, though slow it wanes,
with toiling hands, and speechless names,
just like the lotus for belief,
a man has turned his own green leaf.

but now the sun is twilight beck,
should twinkle through the star-struck days;
and craning does its woeful neck,
this experience has been but a daze.

behind, i leave this templestay,
a gift, a present, a mere today;
but should the years be kind and calm, will once a stay leave marks resound;
that wards against all worldly harm, 'til body leaves, and soul be found.

leap

together we leap across a stream,
that winds and sleuths and sloths;
'til breaking apart at every seam,
to accommodate for hills and troughs.

together we leap into the abyss,
for time has spent its most;
in hopes that darkness starlit bliss,
will finally play its host.

together we leap into demise,
that becks to call with every step;
and leave us with a slight surprise,
that should have taken at first we lept.

together we leap to lands afar, that should have brought me joy unknown,
but yet again you're nowhere to be seen, because this leap i take alone.

that's cute

i cannot wait to get old and retire (though, i feel that the former already holds true). this will probably happen at the expense of young-me having lived a life of destitution and boredom, but let's be honest - what millenial won't?

in any case, it should be extremely satisfying to have retired at, say 55, and sit upon the amassed finances of my current self, perhaps not amounting to enough to buy a mansion or a single flying fsck to give at that point, but hopefully enough to fly around the world and visit all the sights, cultures, people, historic places, artsy-fartsy stuff that i want before settling down to retire in a peaceful, out-of-the-way apartment and live away my life playing video games and reading novels. i believe that at the point i will have spent most of my finances and will have to resort to the local library, or if i have purchased a kindle by then, maybe buy digital books en masse, which i assume might be cheap?

and, of course, the thing i will look forward to most is when everything that i am criticised of at this moment magically becomes endearing in my old age. misanthropy? aww, that cute old man who keeps to himself down the street. he's probably just lonely, poor thing. frugality? that man is so wise to live a moderate life at his age. reticence? again, wild old guy who probably has the experience of ages (ha! you wish). being a creep and boob-touching flirting with girls 40 years younger? old guy who's just being friendly and probably misses his dead wife (1. i definitely won't be married 2. schit, this only works if you're good looking. ok, maybe it won't all be cute or even acceptable).

and not having to work... man, i cannot believe how naive i was to have finished my studies and hoped to get into the work-force to change the world. change. the. world. holy crap, how was i ever that gullible. mate, you just want to have a job so you can put food on the table, then go home and pay your internet bills. seriously, your working weekends or after hours isn't going to change jack. maybe consider getting a hobby or masturbating less.

anyway, old age, come for me soon. your humble servant awaits!